Mothers of teens know why

some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote

you. In fact, they usually repeat


word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Children: You spend the

first 2 years of their life teaching


them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years


telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Insanity is hereditary.

You get it from your kids.

I love to give homemade

gifts. Which one of my kids


do you want?

Children are natural

mimics who act like their parents,


despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still

growing is like


shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

"There is only one pretty

child in the world... and every


 mother has it." -  Chinese Proverb.

Children will soon forget

your presents. They will always


remember your presence.

The main purpose of

holding children's parties is

to remind


yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God's

reward for not killing your kids.

"Who are these kids and

why are they calling me Mom?"

You can fool some of the

people all of the time and all of


the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

A child's greatest period

of growth is the month after


you've purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says "Easy as

taking candy from a baby"


has never tried it.

The best inheritance

parents can give their children is


a few minutes of their time each day.