Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given

down under.

Back End of the Batmobile: The state of your Brass

Eye soon after you eat a really hot curry. I had a Ring Stinger in the

Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I've got a dose of Gandhi's

Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the Batmobile."

Beaver Leaver: or Vagina Decliner. A homosexual.

Beer Coat: The invisible but warm coat worn when

walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

Boiler Suit: The prosecution charge that you did

wilfully, and with phallus aforethought, score with a Bobfoc last

night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your

friends in the pub on Saturday night.

Bone of Contention: A hard-on that causes an

argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach

volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

Breaking the Seal: Your 1st piss in the pub,

usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your

bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15

minutes for the rest of the night.

Budgie's Tongue: or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue

Punchbag. The female erection.

BVH: Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.

Cider Visor: Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

Crapaccino: The particularly frothy type of

diarrhoea that you get when abroad.

Double Bass: A sexual position in which the man

enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples

with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is

similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the

sound produced is slightly different.

Etch-A-Sketch: Trying to draw a smile on a woman's

face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

Fizzy Gravy: or Rusty Water. Diarrhoea.

Frigmarole: Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit: The sound made when

driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

Going For a McShit: Entering a fast food restaurant

with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If

challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that

you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

Greyhound: A very short skirt, only an inch from

the hare.

Hand-to-Gland Combat: A vigorous masturbation

session.

Millennium Domes: The contents of a Wonderbra.

i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's

actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.

Monkey Bath: A bath so hot, that when lowering

yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

Mystery Bus: The bus that arrives at the pub on

Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and

whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed

with stunners when you come back in.

Mystery Taxi: The taxi that arrives at your place

on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you

slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NBR: No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up

instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.

Picasso Arse: A woman whose knickers are too small

for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Sperm Wail: or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during

the male orgasm.

Starfish Trooper: or Arsetronaut. A homosexual.

10-Pinter: Someone that you'd only chat up after

drinking at least 10 pints.

2-Bagger: Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to

have sex with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case

their bag falls off.)

Titanic: A lady who goes down first time out.

Todger Dodger: A lesbian.

Wank Seance: During a masturbation session, the

eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead

relatives.