Cold is relative

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*10 degC - Melbournians turn on the heat. People in Canberra plant

gardens.

*4 degC - Sydney residents shiver uncontrollably. People in

Canberra sunbathe.

*2 degC - Italian cars won't start. People in Canberra drive with

the windows down.

*0 degC - Distilled water freezes. Canberra water gets thicker.

*-7 degC - Sydney people wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People

in Canberra throw on a T-shirt.

*-9 degC - Queenslanders begin to evacuate the state. People in

Canberra go swimming.

*-18 degC - Melbourne landlords finally turn up the heat. People

in Canberra have a last bbq before it gets cold.

*-23 degC - People in Perth cease to exist. People in Canberra

lick flagpoles.

*-29 degC - Sydney people fly away to South Pacific islands.

People in Canberra throw on a light jacket.

*-40 degC - Darwin disintegrates. People in Canberra rent videos.

*-51 degC - Mt. Hotham freezes. Canberra Girl Guides begin selling

Guide biscuits door to door.

*-62 degC - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Penguins

leave

Antarctica. Canberra Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it

gets cold enough.?

*-73 degC - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in

Canberra put on a coat.

*-114 degC - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Canberra get

frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

*-183 degC - Microbial life start to disappear. Canberra cows

complain of farmers with cold hands.

*-273 degC - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Canberra start

saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

*-296 degC - Hell freezes over. Canberra wins the soccer.

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