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The Pentagon recently found it had way too many generals and

offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who

retired straight away would get his full annual benefits plus

10,000 Dollars for every inch measured in a straight line between

any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to

select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the

pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his

toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of 720,000 Dollars.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the

tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked

out with a check for 960,000 Dollars.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where

to measure, he told the pension man, "From the tip of my penis to

the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might

like to reconsider, pointing out the nice cheques the previous two

generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert

said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical

officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer arrived and asked the general to drop the

pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of

the general's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

The general replied, "One in Iraq and the other in Afghanistan...

Keep measuring!!"

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