Behind Microsoft bid on Yahoo

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Ten days later, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer was reading the CIO

Magazine, and read about this interesting thing called PHP, that

according to the author you could use to write "WHAT?!". "WHAT?!",

obviously a highly advanced and evolved version of "Hello World",

caught his attention. So he called Bill Gates.

Steve: "Hey, you heard about this PHP thing?"

Bill: "Pee Age Pee? You're not that old yet, are you?"

Steve: "What? No, wait, it's a programming language, apparently better

than ASP.NET."

Bill: "Who cares if it's better. I mean; we made the worst operating

systems ever and still rule. (Checked out Leopard yet? It is SO cool.)"

Steve: "I don't know Bill... remember that internet thing that we

didn't know about years ago? Kind of nearly missed the boat there."

Bill: "Right. Didn't we solve that in the same way? Worst browser,

highest market share, that sort of thing?"

Steve: "Yes we did, but then we also

didn't know about this 'mp3' thing until it was too late."

Bill: "We did manage to make Zune the worst player, but somehow we're

not market leader. Guess we got sloppy?"

Steve: "Maybe it's just different times. Maybe we should have a

different strategy."

Bill: "Ok, so let's just buy PHP then."

Steve: "It's not a company. But Encarta says it's written by a Rasmus

Lerdorf."

Bill: "So let's hire him."

Steve: "Tried that. Didn't want to join. Can't blame him, works at

Yahoo."

Bill: "Then I guess we'll have to buy Yahoo."

Two

of the most controversial announcements of this month, and both appear

to be part of devious plots to take over the LAMP stack. What's next?

My prediction: Red-Hat buys Zend; Oracle buys Red-Hat; Sun and IBM join

forces to buy Oracle, Microsoft buys Sun, kills IBM and peace is

restored in the galaxy.

P.S. Can you imagine Microsoft running sites like Flickr? These guys

invented MS Paint!

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